09 January 2003 + 12:15 am
listening to: david letterman.
currently reading: porno by irvine welsh.
mood: pissed off.

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things my ex ACTUALLY said to me when we broke up:

(please bear in mind that HE dumped ME)

- i'm not good enough for you. you're a lot smarter than i am.

- you deserve better. i can never meet your expectations.

- i'm sorry it didn't work. i'm sorry i'm not the one. i wanted to be the one.

-i wanted to travel around the world with you.

- you're one of the only people i even like being around these days.

- i know all the reasons you're good for me, but i don't know how i'm good for you.

- i'm just not meant to be in a relationship. i guess i'm just supposed to be single.

etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

is this all bullshit? i never complained about any of these things. i never thought he wasn't good enough for me. i wanted it to work out so badly i was willing to deal with all the temporary problems, keeping the long-term in mind. if HE had self-esteem problems why did *i* have to get my heart broken? or was he too much of a pussy to tell me the *real* reasons he didn't want to be with me anymore??? were there other reasons? do guys lie like that?? it's been over a year and i am still not able to get over all this shit because i still can't understand what i did wrong. and now he decides he's finally ready to try a relationship again, but it's not with me. it still just really fucks with my head............

- borntokill x

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