12 January 2003 + 6:04 pm
listening to: evening news.
currently reading: porno by irvine welsh.
mood: rolling eyes.

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just watched AMELIE. *very* cute movie. *very* clever. really! it was loads of fun, and full of pleasant little surprises. funny & sweet & entertaining enough to keep me planted on the sofa and glued to the screen for 2 solid hours. i even re-wound certain clever parts to watch them again! i *loved* it, and will surely recommend it to friends & customers.

BUT. i am so sick of these sweet girl movies with the happy endings. it is sooooo unrealistic. i actually partially blame these sorts of movies for the fact that i am so unhappy. if you watch enough of them, you begin to wonder where your mystery man is, when he will appear to make everything better. you expect grand, thoughful gestures from men, who never, EVER, deliver them. i watched SERENDIPITY a few months ago (mainly b/c i have a huge crush on john cusack) and was so PISSED OFF that he does finally meet up with the love of his life after 7 agonizing years of searching. because in reality over here, that person disappears and moves on and *doesn't* still think about you, a decade later. if someone were to have made a film of my life this past year, it would be a total bomber...... who wants to see a girl so miserable & depressed she can't even get out of bed and go into work?? look! her business is failing! she's been single for over a year! this one-time-diva cares so little that she doesn't even bother to get dressed most days but goes into work in a hat! now they would clearly have to fabricate a feel-good hollywood ending because it's just not coming for me. in the film, my ex, who still has a key to my house, would finally come to the realization that he is a complete idiot for giving me up, and i would have come home from work (probably on x-mas eve or new years eve or one of those days that really emphasizes how alone you are) to find candles lit all throughout the house, fondue bubbling on my coffee table, a bottle of merlot, and *the ex* sitting on my leopard print armchair, telling me he's sorry, and he misses me, and his daughter still asks about me, and he made a huge mistake, and he wants me back. please. see, in the real world, the guy amelie falls in love with WOULD have run off with her co-worker. doesn't something that crushing happen to someone every day??? or am i just entirelytoo cynical? there is no white knight, or prince charming. and the love of your life breaks your heart. so all of these movies just make me EFFING SICK.

- borntokill x

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