May 24, 2003 + 12:05 am
listening to: johnny cash.
currently reading: oscar wilde - the picture of dorian gray.
cake or death? cake! triple chocolate!

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i listened to the smiths all day today at work. i don't know why; i can honestly say i haven't listened to the smiths in a good 6 or 7 years!! it was fun though, and i managed to stay in a pretty good//light mood all day. a couple friends stopped in and i was like "check it out i'm listening to morrissey, hahaha" and they would be like, yeah i kinda noticed that but i wasn't going to say anything. it rocked. usually i am playing some sort of 80's punk, psychobilly, or just some good old trashy rock-n-roll. gotta mix it sometimes though!!

well. there is a boy who has been,well, hitting on me for like 2 years now. i think he asked me out waaaaaay back when i was with my ex. he's really quite cute and pops around every now & then. he's given me his phone number at least 3 times. he came in yesterday. wanting me to stop into the club he's working the door. it was 80's night so i talked him into buying a DEVO shirt. where else in samhell are you gonna find a fuckin DEVO shirt!?!? i told him he would be the big hit of the night. needless to say i am still in my big time rut so i didn't leave my house once i got home from work......... BUT he said his friends band is playing up the street tuesday night, and i should stop by & have a drink with him. now my dilemna is, do i want to go out, probably have a really fun tuesday night, and see what happens *or* do i want to continue to be a lame-ass and just blow him off like i always do?? i just can't see pulling anyone in right now; my head is still so convoluted and i don't see that i'm any really any good in this state. sigh. but then i can also see being like just a total carefree flirt like i used to be and when (yes he will...) he calls me on tuesday to see if i'm gonna go, saying something silly & sassy like "tell ya what. i'll meet you there if you'll make out with me" i don't know. i just don't know how to get back to my old *fun* self; it's just been so long.

i also haven't hooked up with anyone since LAST JULY so there's that.

eeeep - if you're reading this i also want to say a big THANX to lucky-doll for caring! xoxo

- borntokill x

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